Sexual abuse or assault is when one person uses force, threat of force or coercion to make another person engage in sexual behavior against his or her will. Assailants commit sexual assault by way of violence, threats, coercion, manipulation, pressure or tricks. Whatever the circumstances, no one asks or deserves to be sexually assaulted. Are you a sexual abuse victim?
When people think of rape, they might think of a stranger jumping out of a shadowy place and sexually attacking someone. But it’s not only strangers who rape. In fact, about half of all people who are raped know the person who attacked them. Girls and women are most often raped, but guys also can be raped.
Even if the two people know each other well, and even if they were intimate or had sex before, no one has the right to force a sexual act on another person against his or her will.
Although it involves forced sex, rape is not about sex or passion. Rape has nothing to do with love. Rape is an act of aggression and violence.
You may hear some people say that those who have been raped were somehow “asking for it” because of the clothes they wore or the way they acted. That’s wrong: The person who is raped is not to blame. Rape is always the fault of the rapist. And that’s also the case when two people are dating — or even in an intimate relationship. One person never owes the other person sex. If sex is forced against someone’s will, that’s rape.
Healthy relationships involve respect — including respect for the feelings of others. Someone who really cares about you will respect your wishes and not force or pressure you to have sex.
Drugs may also play a role. You may have heard about “date rape” drugs like rohypnol (“roofies”), gamma-hydroxybutyrate (GHB), and ketamine. Drugs like these can easily be mixed in drinks to make a person black out and forget things that happen. Both men and women who have been given these drugs report feeling paralyzed, having blurred vision, and lack of memory.
If you were date raped or are unsure, we are available to talk. Call (209) 966-2350 .
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